Fear is an emotion that we all experience and perhaps respond to differently. In most cases though fear has destroyed companies, crushed people and broke their spirits. When fear is not managed well, it can cost you your dreams, your relationships, production and performance. Fear can kill enthusiasm and energy, destroying success. However when you are fearless or put on your vital or moral courage, you are unstoppable.
In organisations managers create some rules and policies because of fear and people operate with silo mentality, become territorial because of fear. In such cases fear becomes a barrier stopping people from achieving what they need to achieve. Fear is an emotion, a protective emotion, we are wired to seek safety first, that is protect ourselves from physical danger. However most of our fears are triggered by our psychology-that is by our mindset (thoughts, beliefs and emotion) rather than real threats. When we are unable to manage the inner disturbance stirred up by our thoughts or beliefs we become reactive instead of creative.
When fear is paralysing and stopping us from going towards the outcome we want, it means our inner resources need expanding or reappraising. Often what triggers fear is the perception that our demands are bigger than our resources-that is our mindset, skill set and action set. So how can we break the barrier? I will just discuss 3 ways:
- Name it to tame it-fear diminishes focus which means one loses awareness even of the fact that they are afraid so they get absorbed by the fear and it sweeps them away. When you name and acknowledge that you are afraid, you can not be swallowed by the fear.
- Release it- emotions are supposed to move through and out, we are not supposed to feed them, So notice where in your body you are experiencing the emotion, focus on that part of your body without ruminating about the fear or what triggered it. When you focus on feeling the emotion without acting it out it has no choice except to dissipate. It is not the expression of the emotions that is relevant, it is owning them, being present to them. Not because they are your emotions, but because they are your emotions, but because they are happening in you ”now’.
- Reappraise it-often the meaning we give to events or things is what triggers the emotion or sustains the emotion. For example people think fear is bad and when you think that fear is bad you start fearing fear which increases its intensity. When you view fear as an asset like all emotions are, you can leverage it to serve you and you can use it to fuel you. So put your fear behind you to propel you instead of in front of you to block you. For example I don’t want to be a person who regrets, who says ”if only” or ”I should have”. I want to learn, grow, love deeply, travel, impact lives and I don’t want to regret not having done that.I fear regretting, so my fear is my fuel and I go out and impact lives, create opportunities to travel, read and learn from masters to grow myself, do a lot of inner work so I can love deeply.
About the Author
Mavis Ureke is a Human Behaviour Specialist, author of several books including: Navigating The Rapids and Waves of Life: 10 Lessons to Managing Emotions for Success; Managing Emotions for Financial Freedom:The Invisible Forces Driving your Money Habits; Heart Boundaries;co-author of The Change and Aspire, Awaken and Actualise. She is the cofounder of Training B2B CC, a leading provider of emotional intelligence training. She is a frequent speaker/trainer/facilitator and keynote speaker at public and private engagements.Media personality, regular appearance on Business Day TV, other channels and radio, city press column author: Your Emotions, Your Money. John Maxwell Certified Leadership Coach, Teacher and Speaker, An affiliate member of the Institute of Coaching Professional Association at McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate
Certified Personal Strength Facilitator, Certified Master Trainer
Emotional Intelligence HumaNext, 6Seconds and TalentSmart. Certified Fatigue Management Circadian. Contacts: Training B2B CC Tel: 011 326 2499 Email: email@example.com