Anchoring your Goals with Emotional Connection


So you may have heard this phrase, ‘‘If you can feel it, you can do it”. Emotions drive action or inaction, hence to get things done  there must be emotional anchoring. The beginning of the year is filled with strategic plans, resolutions and goals for organisations, teams and individuals. It is easy to think when you have set your plans you can achieve them, but we forget that we need an energy plan.When you have these in place you must also add the energy plan, to get things done we need energy and we must plan for it before we set off. How much energy are we going to need, how often are going to recharge/refuel and at what points of the journey, This also includes the check points, how often are we going to check where our energy levels are. So think about it, before an aeroplane takes off, the pilot sets the flight plan, much like the GPS. Once the aeroplane has the destination position programmed into the computer, when it hits turbulence and it’s taken off course it can autocorrect, reposition and re-align to the set route and destination plan. So while we often have good strategies, policies or goals, what often set us off course or derail us is our emotions, our energy is our E-MOTIONS. So think about it how many people are not performing to their maximum potential in your team because of lack of trust? Or you have a brilliant business idea but can’t seem to connect with authentic partners to accelerate your business growth because of lack of trust? Trust is an emotion, the energy we need to build authentic connections that take up responsibilities and present their best contribution. Lack of trust is an output of fear, and fear destroys organisations and individuals from inside out and often without awareness. Now organisations, teams and individuals are paying TRUST TAX because there is no plan to build trust, trust programming or to get rid of the fear barrier.

Most plans forget or are not aware they need to include the emotional or energy plan. Here is what we can do to include the energy plan:

  1. Emotional Assessment

Before you plan for what you need, check what you have. You can not create from a negative or depleted state. Negative emotions are draining. So as an individual check where you are emotionally at the beginning of the year like this. How do you feel about life? How do you feel about the various roles you play.  Using a scale of 1-10 rate yourself in  your key life zones.  Where are you socially, how do you feel about your connections, lifestyle? How do you feel about the work you do? How do you feel about where you are financially or about money in general? How do you feel about your physical well-being? How do you feel about your mental capacity and capability, confidence levels and ability to problem solve? How do you feel about your spiritual life? How do you feel about the various family roles you play, whether as a husband, wife, mother, father, step-dad, step-mum, mother-in-law, daughter in law etc? Look at your scale and also reflect the dominant emotions in each life zone. If for example you are a 4 what are you going to do in 2017 to get that number up as close as possible to a 10? Now once you know where you are, if you are a team leader, husband, wife or any other role where you connect with others also check where they are emotionally, do an emotional check in as often as you can.

2. Emotional Anchoring

Once you know where you are, reflect on your goals and plans to check what your emotional goals are. In the last blog post I discussed about setting emotional goals. Your visible plans must expand your emotional range. Ask yourself these questions: What do you need to feel to achieve your plans or how would you feel if you achieved them? Connect with that emotion. Who would you be if you felt that emotion all the time? What would you be able to do? What thoughts will you have? How creative will be? How stable will you be emotionally? Do this for every goal or plan you have.

Once you finish connecting with each goal check your emotional range, how many emotions will you experience on your journey or process of achieving your plans. When I looked at my goals and took stock of the emotional goals I saw that I need to feel these emotions to achieve my goals, it is the fuel I need: love, joy, peace, interest, curiosity, courage, determination, happy, passion, confidence, hope, faith and serenity. We need resourcefulness to create resources. Once you are aware of your emotional range, you also need to prioritise these emotions, for instance to feel happy I have to prioritise happiness. How can I trigger happiness or activate it often, what five things make me happy and I schedule them or put the on the plan as well. Make sure what makes you happy is not elusive, it is not something outside of your control.How can you activate love? I was reading my Bible and in Colossians 3:14 and it says ”put on love” This means if you can put it on, you can put it off. So you can active and deactivate your emotions. So make a conscious choice and a plan to active the fuel or resourcefulness you need to achieve your plans. Is it easy, sometimes not, but can it be done, YES. So when you do this you are programming your guiding system for the destination you set for yourself or your team.

Anchoring emotionally does not mean you will not experience challenges or negative emotions, but when you hit turbulence you know where to go back to. So you may ask,am I going to feel disappointed, angry, frustrated, fearful, anxious? Absolutely, but you know where to go back to so that you don’t continue to wallow in negativity. Remember all emotions are within your control, you can manage them, activate and deactivate, reposition and re-align.


Without inner discipline and inner integrity it is difficult to achieve our plans or move away from our current levels of gravity, performance and results.We are a product of our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical habits. You have to discipline your self to create new emotional, mental, spiritual and physical patterns otherwise often people revert to what they know. You have to create new disciplines that you schedule on your calendar, anything not scheduled will not be done. Disciplines can include regular time for reflection, I reflect every sunday,how did I feel in the week and what do I want to feel in the coming week? What habits carried me or what habits did I skip in the week and what was the impact?. Getting new knowledge or learning a new skill either by reading or an online course or any other ways to create new habits that can anchor your inner locus of control.Learning a new skill might mean practicing a new emotional pattern. We have to flex our emotional muscles. I read at least 2 books a week and this for me is often aligned to any of my life zones that need improvement.What disciplines or habits do you need to achieve your plans/goals? Your disciplines must help you build internal capacity and  expand your internal capability  to achieve your plans, when you lack capacity and capability you emotionally resign from your plans, goals and even your life. And when you emotionally resign you lose control of your life and often someone will have to discipline you and for an adult that is more painful than disciplining yourself.

The bigger the goal or the plan the deeper the anchor you need, and the more disciplined you need to get. Think about it, in construction the higher the building the more solid the foundation should be. There is often the 1/3 rule, that the depth or foundation must 1/3 of the height, which means the higher the building the deeper the foundation.

How big are your plans and goals? How deep does your depth need to be?

About the Author

Mavis Ureke is a Human Behaviour Specialist, author of several books including: Navigating The Rapids and Waves of Life: 10 Lessons to Managing Emotions for Success; Managing Emotions for Financial Freedom:The Invisible Forces Driving your Money Habits; Heart Boundaries;co-author of The Change and Aspire, Awaken and Actualise. She is the cofounder of Training B2B CC, a leading provider of emotional intelligence training. She is a frequent speaker/trainer/facilitator and keynote speaker at public and private engagements.Media personality, regular appearance on Business Day TV, other channels and radio, city press column author: Your Emotions, Your Money. John Maxwell Certified Leadership Coach, Teacher and Speaker, An affiliate member of the Institute of Coaching Professional Association at McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate

Certified Personal Strength Facilitator, Certified Master Trainer

Emotional Intelligence HumaNext, 6Seconds and TalentSmart. Certified Fatigue Management Circadian. Contacts: Training B2B CC Tel: 011 326 2499 Email:


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