We all know that conflict is inevitable, differences in principle, opinions,approaches or values are what make us all unique and provide us with variety. However when we are unable to understand, tolerate these differences or find alignment conflict ensues. So the conflict theme is that which we are agreeing about and it is aligned to our emotional needs of significance, options, contribution, autonomy, security and growth. We know we are experiencing conflict when we experience an emotional turbulence, which means we are now experiencing negative emotions due to the fact that we perceive not being able to meet our emotional needs.. Emotional turbulence is a signal that something we care about is being threatened ”our needs” hence we get into the ”survival mode” to try and defend self. Most of the conflict we experience is non-life threatening but the more one continues to experience the negative charge that was triggered by the conflict theme, the more one builds a conflict mass. And we build a conflict mass because of emotional illiteracy, that is inability to manage emotions. The conflict mass determines the vibrational density, the lower the vibrational frequency the more risky one becomes, both to themselves but also to others. Conflict mass can influence an onset of diseases in the person building it and they also begin to experience a loss of awareness and a diminishing focus which can lead them into harming someone else or sabotaging themselves. One is also unable to perform to their maximum potential because energy is being sucked by this mass.
So how can one avoid building a conflict mass in a conflict situation?
- Conflict mass is built but letting emotions linger in our body more that is necessary. One has to master how to process emotions, release as quickly as possible.
- Stop ruminating about the event but start thinking about solutions
- Become aware of your intolerances and resolve the emotion behind the intolerance
- Recondition self, often conflict is triggered by our beliefs or what you have learnt, but the world is full of possibilities, hence it pays to be curious, curiosity helps releases negative emotions.
About the Author
Mavis Ureke is a Human Behaviour Specialist, Chartered HR Professional, Learning & Development: SABPP/Human, author of several books including: Navigating The Rapids and Waves of Life: 10 Lessons to Managing Emotions for Success; Managing Emotions for Financial Freedom:The Invisible Forces Driving your Money Habits; Heart Boundaries;co-author of The Change and Aspire, Awaken and Actualise. She is the cofounder of Training B2B CC, a leading provider of emotional intelligence training. She is a frequent speaker/trainer/facilitator and keynote speaker at public and private engagements.Media personality, regular appearance on Business Day TV, other channels and radio, city press column author: Your Emotions, Your Money. John Maxwell Certified Leadership Coach, Teacher and Speaker, An affiliate member of the Institute of Coaching Professional Association at McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate
Certified Personal Strength Facilitator, Certified Master Trainer
Emotional Intelligence HumaNext, 6Seconds and TalentSmart. Certified Fatigue Management Circadians. Contacts: Training B2B CC Tel: 011 326 2499 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org